Feeling worthy, or worthiness only comes from within.
Only you are allowed to determine your own worth; no one else has the right to do so. In fact, determining our own worth will set the bar for how other people treat us on a daily basis. It’s been the theme this week with my clients. We’ve been reminiscing on the times we felt unworthy or our self-worth was seriously questioned. It came at the right time, as always. This was a time where I was questioning my own worthiness, my own self-worth, my own standards and also my own boundaries. It’s because of my own thoughts, actions and creations that I’ve been wallowing in the guilt of feeling worthy. Clearly a lesson that I needed to learn long ago.
There was a man who deeply impacted my life creating this idea that I wasn’t worthy until I proved it. The known fact is that, these people that you “need” to prove your worth to… never seem to be satisfied with themselves, are never satisfied with how you prove your worth and they never accept you for who you are. It’s that lesson this week that allowed me to once again release some limiting beliefs. Nothing I did was good enough for him and with time, I created this story that I would never be worthy of my dreams, abundance and love.
But how do you truly define your worth? And how has it changed the world around you?
Let’s get one thing straight - there are no prerequisites for worthiness. NONE. So stop comparing yourself to someone else, stop telling yourself lies about the amount of education, money, abilities, career paths you need in order to be worthy! NONE of it matters. This idea that we have to prove ourselves worthy, that we need to weigh a certain weight, that we need a certain post-secondary degree, that we need to have a significant other, children or a certain size house…. WHY? Where does this come from? Does it matter? What truly matters is that we’re taking a step towards abolishing this belief that we need to “prove our worth”.
If you continue on the path of unworthiness people WILL and I mean WILL think this about you. They will treat you like crap, they will walk all over you, they won’t be attracted to your services, they will bail on you, and in return you’ll do the same to yourself. As within so without, EVERYTHING starts from within and your outside world reflects that. So here are my 4 tips on how to change your self-worth!
1. Serve. Help someone out, give sound advice and provide value to someone who needs it without wanting something in return. We are all going through “shit” in fact we are going through it so we can help other people overcome the same type of problem. When we serve others, we are out of our heads and into our hearts, and seriously that’s the best place to be.
2. Change your self-talk. Your quality of life is seriously determined by the way you think… so why wouldn’t you give yourself a pep talk. Affirmations are a great way to increase self-worth, change your thoughts and shut down the voices that are telling you that you are not good enough. Your self-talk is everything, just like your self-worth.
3. Create your happiness. Do the things your love, say hell yes to things you want to do and no to the things you don’t! Be the positive light in your family or home. Dance when there’s a song you love that’s playing on the radio, read a book. If that’s your passion and travel if you feel the urge for an adventure. What does happiness mean to you? Create that in your life because no one else will!
4. Be healthy. In all ways possible, mental health, physical health, gut health … It would be easy to preach you on exercise, eating good whole foods, reading books, no trash talk, no gossip.. You know the typical stuff. BUT it’s also about following your intuition. Are you eating because you feel unworthy? Are you not exercising because you don’t believe in yourself? Change those patterns because once you feel good and want to do those things (voluntarily, not of obligation) you’ll find a sense of freedom. You’ll soon realise how important YOU are and that will increase your self-worth.
So for today, I challenge you to feel worthy of love, abundance, happiness and bliss. You are the only one who can truly change your outlook on life, take advantage of that power.